So today's post will be different than usual. I couldn't think of much to say about video games or movies, and besides, what's wrong with a more personal and deep-thinking post every once in a while? If you're an inhumane monster who doesn't possess the ability to feel love, don't continue reading. No, I'm joking. But seriously, if you don't really care about stuff that's not exciting or, you know, news-like, then you don't need to read this at all. I just want to release some feelings.
So one or two days ago, somebody messaged me that I hadn't talked to for a very long time. This person goes to my school, and I used to be very good friends with them, but a lot of awkward things went down last year and after doing a lot of stupid things and getting annoyed at each other, we just completely gave up with our friendship and stopped talking for a while. I see them almost everyday during the week, but we just tried to avoid any interaction with each other at all except for awkward moments when in a group of friends or forced into situations when we had to say something. In fact, we hadn't properly spoken to each other in over a year, around the time I started this blog. But as I said, this person sent me a message about how they were sorry about how things turned out and it didn't take me long to say that I was sorry too. In fact, I had thought about this person constantly since we stopped talking, and no matter how I tried to act like I didn't care about them anymore, I won't deny that there were times when I felt a deep longing to chat with them again, just joke around with them or have fun, but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't pluck up the courage to say anything, and if they hadn't said anything to me first, it's almost certain that we may have never spoken again. They said that they had wanted to repair things for a long time, that the main reason they were trying to avoid me was because they were afraid that I hated them. And the thing is, that's the same reason why I didn't say anything to them. I had basically accepted the fact that we would never be able to be friends again like we once were. But here I am now, and after a long conversation, we seem to be getting back into a proper friendship. There's definitely going to be a lot of awkwardness and shyness in the process of possibly getting back to how we were. But I'm willing to try it.
So, I suppose the point of this post was to say; if there's anybody in your life that you've been avoiding or not talking to because of things that happened in the past, then maybe just say 'what the hell' and do it. If you would find that impossibly hard to do in real life, just send them a message and who knows? Maybe they'll reply. Don't get me wrong; if there is somebody that you've just not talked to for ages because of awkwardness or past mistakes, but you've fully moved on and don't want to get involved with them at all ever again, then forget it. It's your choice and if you've chosen to forget bad memories then so be it. But if you sometimes find yourself wishing things had gone differently between the two of you, if you feel jealous when you see people talking to somebody in your life that you were once close friends with and you feel you'll never have that opportunity again, go for it, just tell them how you feel. If they'd rather not talk to you, that's okay. It's just something you'll have to learn to live with. But maybe they feel the exact same way as you, but they're just too afraid of saying anything in fear of being rejected or looking stupid or desperate.
Thanks for reading.
Thomas
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