Hi. So, I know this is sudden. And I feel pretty bad about this. But recently, a lot has been happening in my life. I have a lot of majorly important exams coming up in the next year or two, which will determine my future. This means I have to focus a lot of my time at home on revising and doing a ton of homework, which, along with this blog, means me feel like I sometimes just don't have enough time to do what I want to do and it's kind of been depressing me lately. That's one of the reasons why I've started to post a lot less often. I mean, think about it; ever since I began this blog in June, the amount of posts I've published has steadily decreased each month, with one exception in September. In fact, in June, I wrote and uploaded 39 posts, some of which were fairly long. But this month, November, is nearly over, and and I've only created around 15 or so (I'm not completely sure since I'm typing this up a few days before it'll actually be posted).
It's not that I'm not happy with this blog or anything, or because hardly any people have read it or anything like that. I love this blog. It's been one of the most satisfying things I've created and I've put so much effort into it in this last almost half a year. But I'm just finding it increasingly harder and harder to find motivation to do this, especially since I go to sleep all the time feeling unsatisfied after not studying enough or not spending enough time enjoying myself and doing things that I want to do for enjoyment in my life. And as much as I love being the creator of this, I will have to admit, sometimes it's too stressful thinking about when I need to make a post next, and always having to stop what I'm doing when I'm watching something on Netflix and playing a fun game to open my laptop and spend half an hour with a TV show or video game paused to think of an interesting way to talk about what I've been doing for the past two or three days, or how excited I am for that upcoming movie or how awesome that game is that I bought yesterday, etc, etc.
But as the title says, this doesn't have to be permanent. Honestly, I really don't think it will be. Trust me, there are always times in my life when I've given up on things like this (a lot, lot sooner than with Awesome Fantasy News, though, which I'm proud of) and months or even a year later I start feeling productive again and I want to try something like this. It happens with me all the time, trust me. It's happened three times with blogs, and a load of times with wanting to make videos or something, but that never really works out, unlike this. Just look at post #127 and you should see what I mean.
Think of this more as an indefinite hiatus. I'm almost certain I'll be coming back to this but I have no idea when. It could be near the end of the year, it could be sometime next year or even late 2016, and there is a small chance that this is it. But that's really unlikely, like I've said. See, in the past when I've felt like just going on the internet and making something for people to see, I always start fresh and begin making something brand new, like a new YouTube channel or a new blog and, again, most of the time it usually lasts for days at most. But with this, I think I've finally gotten something solid and successful, so if, and most likely when, I do want to make something on the internet, like a blog, something to write about, something to report news on, this time I have something to fall back on, something to come straight to and click 'New Post' instead of clicking 'New Blog' and practically erasing all the progress I built up the previous time.
I put my heart into this post. I hope you can see that from the things I was saying. With AFN I have something that's taken much, much more time and effort to build up than anything else I've made to express my feelings and interests. I don't think it will end here forever, because I've tried too hard to create this and make it a steady news/journal site to just throw it all away. Honestly, this post just feels like I'm having to put down some kind of sick pet or something.
There is an alternative way that I think could play out. Instead of kind of ending this temporarily, perhaps I could just make posts when I feel like it? Instead of sticking to a schedule and always worrying about how long it's been since I last posted and how people are going to be annoyed because I'm unreliable and can't keep to when I promise I'll upload, couldn't I just write stuff about news and feelings and things happening in my life when they happen and when I legitimately feel motivated or inspired to upload something? It's better than pushing myself when I really don't want to because I get worried that people will think I'm dead, or gone, or have abandoned the blog if I don't say anything for a week without explaining myself.
Maybe I'll do that.
For what I doubt is the final time, but at least for now is my last farewell.
Thomas
Edit: One day or two before this post was released, the trailer for Captain America: Civil War was actually uploaded onto YouTube even though I thought it was going to debut with Star Wars VII (I'm sure it will still play with it though). So as my last kind of send-off, before I go, I know you've probably seen it by now since I'm writing this days before this post will be put onto the internet, but you can click here to see the trailer for the third Captain America movie. It looks pretty damn amazing, and I'm intensely looking forward to it now. I think I'm going to start watching the six Star Wars movies again now since I want to rewatch them before I go to see VII in less than a month. Goodbye, and again, maybe I'll come back to this in a few months or even less. We'll just have to see if I have the time.
Thanks to all of you that read any of my posts, and to the person who gave so many of posts a '+1'. I don't know who you are but it's nice to feel appreciated like that, as if I have a fan following AFN.
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